•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
to learn by heart
a stain
on the ceiling
over the bed
Ìý
to see it
even if it weren’t there
Ìý
as a flower
in a vase
on a table
Ìý
it’s opening up
Ìý
spreading fragrance
anxiety
Ìý
to learn by heart
and never leave
Ìý
life
outlined
by the stain’s edge
Ìý
Ìý
Ìý
coastline
Ìý
the sounds just after I wake
when I can’t yet
distinguish
one from the other
Ìý
I can’t tell
the origin
source
distance
of a sound event
for certain
Ìý
in the morning’s
lingering dark
I wake up to
somebody sobbing near me
Ìý
perhaps it’s even me
Ìý
it takes me a while
to calm down
Ìý
to make sure
thatÌýnot me
thatÌýnot near
Ìý
thatÌýit’s not sobbing
but the radio’s on
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
between my own
and someone else’s self
Ìý
between a ceiling of indefinite color
and a beige velour carpet
Ìý
in one of the countless identical rooms
on a rock the size of a tennis court
on a shore of infinite worlds
Ìý
from the scraps of images of ideas
I piece together
Ìý
experiences and events
that have never taken place
Ìý
Ìý
to create habits of action
Ìý
breathing
but not artificial
of course not
just whether we are breathing
the right way
whether we have made the right
decision
whether we are breathing at all
whether we have rightly
nonetheless we made an effort
sooner habit
than hesitation
it would come to hesitation
anyway
Ìý
Ìý
dreams about rooms
Ìý
between is a distance
hard and fragile
Ìý
a glass wall
where breath condenses (not mixes)
Ìý
warmth – cold
hazy images of parallel worlds
on the bottom liquefied passions
Ìý
(in which dream before leaving
did I water the flowers shut the windows
but forget to switch off
the light and the radio?
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
surfaces shapes bodies
both fast and sleepy
semi-automatic
Ìý
microorganisms
building secret colonies
Ìý
lingering beginnings of future disasters
irreversible dulling – lassitude
Ìý
outlines of things vanishing
under a sticky veneer
Ìý
faces behind glass
Ìý
under the thin ice
the shallow water breathes
Ìý
to touch to smell to taste
Ìý
to fill the air with sprouting
and a ridiculous yell
Ìý
I haven’t decided yet
again: I’m hesitating blurring
but: I’m repeating actions gestures
Ìý
carefully examining what from a distance
reminds me of a coastline
Ìý
new leaves glistening and undulating
shimmering motor vehicles
Ìý
quiet cloudless dogs disappearing round the corner
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
the thing between
Ìý
between
even without our
doing
Ìý
doesn’t stay the same
it changes
Ìý
whether on a seashore
or in a cramped hotel room
Ìý
between a ceiling of indefinite color
and a beige velour carpet
Ìý
between the high tide and the ebb
Ìý
we exert
a lot of energy
to avoid it
Ìý
scrupulously
we repeat the same actions
apply the same formulas
Ìý
the result though is never
quite the same
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
I reach out my hand and want
the same to happen all over again
in reality as in a mirror
I don’t add only take
sipping from a glass unpacking browsing
putting away layers of yellowed whiteness
deposits of dusty air
and cyanotic buzz
wiping the marks of breath before my mouth
I step back from the double-glazed windows
with flies drying in between
beyond which certain colors keep repeating
outside the trees are moving shedding leaves
a touch so unlike a touch
that it’s almost imperceptible
I want and don’t want
at the same time
I want and don’t want to be
in a cramped hotel room
and on a seashore
equally living and dead
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
in a hotel room
I stand by the window a while
trees are moving beyond the double glass
I can’t hear the sound of the wind in the leaves
neither the whisper nor
the sighs will remind me
of its absence
the weariness that has
detached itself from me
is more real
than what I see
in front of me
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
in the middle of town
in the middle of the day
I reach out my hand
Ìý
a pane of glass
another pane of glass
Ìý
I won’t notice the difference
nor guess the distance right
Ìý
at noon
at the corners
of the street
trees are moving
Ìý
it’s still raining
Ìý
quickly we climb
into a pulled-up taxi
Ìý
from behind
over his shoulder
I watch the road
Ìý
constantly forwards
towards the revelation
Ìý
beyond the glass trees are moving
Ìý
in the rear mirror
a fragment of reality
Ìý
between us
something shapeless
Ìý
it’s still raining
Ìý
at the appointed time
I’m standing at the appointed place
Ìý
I offer my hand
say my name
Ìý
a fragment of reality
projected into a different time
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
fatigue reduplicates
events repeat themselves
Ìý
as if events
only repeated themselves
Ìý
as if they were happening
immediately a second time
Ìý
again
as if
Ìý
the difference is imperceptible but palpable
a glass pane another glass pane
Ìý
and in between a distance
a gap set between a past
Ìý
and a present event
a dielectric
Ìý
the fatigue is more real
the reality more fragile
Ìý
the glass is double-paned
the difference imperceptible
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
lights and shadows alternate
outrun each other are rhythmicised
I’m changing
repeating myself
with my silence I imitate the silence
of two weeks ago
half a year ago
the words unspoken
are getting old
on the margin some quick
superficial colors flicker
on the way to the goal
I’m not creating complication
the distance between me
and the goal is diminishing
without my doing
not for a moment do I lose
the firm ground under my feet
here on this train
the goal of the journey is beyond doubt
and clear— no other
(the railway station where I get off)
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
fear
that I won’t get out
of a cramped room
without windows and doors
Ìý
where you cannot breathe
Ìý
where you cannot not think
of the seashore
Ìý
a line — thin interrupted
washed erased
almost nothing
or after all —
Ìý
Ìý
someone else’s story
Ìý
to replace every single thing
with a word
to replace every word
with another word
to focus on detail
step by step
word by word
to turn your story
into a story
to turn your fear
into someone else’s fear
Ìý
Ìý
a tone may be stretched to an hour or a day
Ìý
to choose a technique but it seems the technique chooses you
if you don’t take the initiative
(somewhere) between life and death
a fluent transition between one and the other
between one and the other you cannot
you cannot draw an exact line
the coastline provisionally marked with water
the horizon vanishing all the time (just breathe)
fill your lungs with pure gas you won’t notice
that no longer air but water that no longer blue
but grey that no longer a day but a tone
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
nothing was cut
fused knotted
it only came closer
fleetingly touched
Ìý
for a moment we felt
something pulsing behind the wall
living its own life
Ìý
under the touch
Ìý
the skin cells die
and regenerate
Ìý
go through their life cycle
from beginning to end
but none of that will suffice for a story
(just a vague outline of its contours)
Ìý
Ìý
•â¶Ä¢â¶Ä¢
Ìý
I fight I play I fear (that I’ll go too far)
I shift the imaginary border
I sketch I erase I chisel I smooth out
shifting the lines I’m creating new countries
you too (who more or less cooperate)
Ìý
what’s opening
is between
Ìý
zoom in—narrow the space
reduce the dimensions to two
outermost poles—tie a knot
Ìý
I breathe fast (the same air)
until for the length of one breath in I cling
to the adjacent breath out
Ìý
Ìý
Ìý
translated by Zuzana Starovecká and John Minahane